I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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