Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
pop tarts are not kleenex
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Randomize
