i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
These tits shall not be calmed
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
