I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
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