In the future we'll all be gay
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
