Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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