You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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