dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
We got so high we made milksteak
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
