How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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