At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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