Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
