I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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