My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I wish there were birth control emojis
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I'm having to shit out rocks
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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