Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
