Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
