I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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