You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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