So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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