my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize