just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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