Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
