I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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