I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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