I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
