Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
