he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
