I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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