Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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