I can feel you judging me through the phone.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize