Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
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