Jerry, you need to find god
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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