This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Say something about gay babies.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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