walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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