8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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