I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
