i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
