You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
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if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
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