i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
