Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I think I died a long time ago.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
