I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
