it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Randomize
