First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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