Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
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oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
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Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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