how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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