We're facebook friends in real life
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
