In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
