If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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