this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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