Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
