dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
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