the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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