We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
