Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
