I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Holy shit dude........stairs
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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