You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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