I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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