u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
