You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
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i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
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If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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