But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i already hear my dad disowning me
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
