i'm signing you up for texting rehab
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
