At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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