Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
