I'm so fucking centered right now
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
