the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Randomize
