i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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