i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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