we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
